New Year, Same Monotony

New Year, Same Monotony

I am back! A whole month later with absolutely no progress on any front .  No response from any interviews.  No answer on my so called “Marriage”.   I don’t get it .  I Pray, I do good, I help others. NOTHING. The only positive thing that has happened so far this year is that I started Keto and lost 18 lbs.  I literally have no clue what this year holds. I often wonder if this happens  because  I was comfortably numb. I am exhausted I just wish someone would point me in the same I need to go or atleast throw me a bone.

I sometimes think about to all the anger, and hurt I went through and I feel bad at how I treated my husband at times, but then I see how he treated me, how he was cold, distant, how he chose his parents over me, how he wouldn’t even spend time with me and I don’t feel too bad.

I have decided that this is what I need in order to continue

  1. Boundaries within his family. He must realise that I am PRIORITY NUMBER ONE.
  2.  Willingness to start a family. If he says  ” No” or ” I dont know” well then I got to go.
  3.  Our own place. We will not be sharing a place with his parents, nor constantly vacationing with them.

Last week I exchanged words with my MIL and I have no regrets. I think its safe to say that I had held my tongue for a while and I was sick of her manipulative ways. So I finally gave her that much needed tongue lashing that I felt as though she needed, and I have no regrets. If anything I feel as though a weight has lifted off my chest

Since its cold and I have nothing really to do at times my thoughts can run wild even though deep down I KNOW  I did the right thing. I often worry that we may get divorced but then I remind myself that that my whole life has been like this so what has changed?

I just wish God would tell me what to do. I wish this pain would leave my heart so I could move on.

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First Blog?

First Blog?

Hi there! I was always intrigued by blogging so I decided this will be my first blog. To start off with I am a Indian American girl in my mid thirties,  currently living in Dallas as a Clinical Social Worker.  I am not the kind that has a lot to share even though I would consider myself to be an extrovert so here goes nothing 🙂  I guess we will see where this little adventure will take us !